tuckergurl

International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day!  Here is a little story:

I am in the car listening to the radio on my way to do some sight seeing.  (I am in Lagos, Nigeria right now as a quick catch up.  Lagos is a HUGE city!  HUGE!)  There was this call in show and the topic was women, of course, but specifically women and money.  The host, a woman, mentioned some vague statistic about a large percentage of women not investing their money but putting it towards consumption.  (Their words, not mine.)

Many women called in and, surprisingly, encouraged women to spend all of their money on clothes, shoes, going out, rather than investing it.  One woman plainly said that it was more important to be beautiful.  She said that men were intimidated by women with money.  Then, a man called and agreed.  He even went so far as to say that he did not date women who owned cars because he did not know where they got them from!  God forbid she bought it herself!

I thought this was an ironic story to have on for International Women's Day.  Maybe it shows how far we have to go. 

You can say that these ideas are only true in Nigeria but we all know it isn't.  I have had many experiences with guys who were intimidated by me and lord knows I don't make that much money!  I am a woman with a career who can take care of herself.  It was refreshing to hear people be honest about these issues rather than be PC the way we tend to be in the West.

Now, to end this on a good note, I am going to take a cue from Ore and talk about some African American women that inspire me.  That should be what this day is about:

My mother - She led a hard life and always had a smile for everyone.  She always taught me to follow my dreams, to be true to myself, to get an education.  She was great!

Tina Turner - Such strength both mentally and physically.

Harriet Tubman - She was the first African American woman that I learned about in US history.

Shonda Rimes - I love Grey's Anatomy, though I am so behind it feels like a distant memory.  Having a black woman as creator of such an incredible and successful show is HUGE!!!  Plus, she has created a show that is diverse and real.  She rocks.

I could list so many more but Seke needs his computer!  Happy International Women's Day!!   

What Is Going On?

I leave the States for a month and they ban abortion in South Dakota.  What?!  It's always those states you weren't paying attention to that get you.  Man, I am getting really, really concerned about what is happening in our country.  We are gettin pretty conservative and everyone I talk to outside of the States agrees.

It's Hot Today

It's has not been that hot here surprisingly.  The sun shines all the time and I am very, very tan but today it is pretty hot.  Just had to mention it.

I am leaving South Africa today.  I am sad to leave Cape Town but ready for the next adventure.  It is sad to leave the group really.  We finished the house and had a dedication ceremony for the owner, Zanele.  She is such a sweet and amazing woman.  Her whole family is so kind and serene.  I'll miss building their house and eating their lunches.  We made them flower boxes and a framed picture of all of us who built the house.  One day I will post pictures but uploading pictures takes time and time is money which I am low on right now.

Oh, an update.  My passport was returned.  My cash was gone but who cares.  I told on the rude woman at the hostel who tried to act like it was my fault for someone breaking into my room and stealing from me.  It felt good and her boss was horrified.  He did not even know my bag was stolen.

I feel like I should be more sad because I am leaving so many great people but I am not.  All of the friends I made at Habitat I will keep in touch with.  I feel confident about that. 

My time at the internet cafe is wrapping up so I'll go.  I'll post when I arrive in Rwanda.

Attacked By Baboons And Other Adventures

Yes, you read that right.  We went to the Southern most tip of Africa, The Cape of Good Hope.  It is quite a hike and really beautiful.  The most beautiful place I have even been I think.  We were all zenned out on the view and went back to our car.  There are baboons all over the park.  They are cute initially.  The park closes at 7pm but the rangers leave at 6pm.  Baboons are the smartest animals man.  They knew exactly when the rangers were gone because they started getting really aggressive.

Anyway, you are not supposed to feed the baboons.  I was eating an apple many, many feet away from them and one started running towards me.  I threw the apple core at him because I knew that was what he wants.  Then I ran into our van.  A babboons tried to follow me in but I locked the door.  Chad, one of our Habitat group leaders, ran in and we all drove away to tell the other van that baboons were running wild.  Turns out that the baboons had jumped into the window of their van and they ran out.  The baboons literally tore their van up going through the van looking for food.  We waited around for an hour while they did this.  There was no phone or anything to call for an emergency so we waited.  People kept trying to distract the baboons but with no success.  Eventually, Alan, our other leader, was able to grab a moment when the baboons was out  of the van and drove away.

It was scary at first but we could not stop laughing.  Just another insane day here.

Oh, and my purse was stolen with my money (which thankfully was not much since I had not made it to a bank) and my passport.  Now I have to go to the Embassy and deal with it.  It is more annoying than anything especially because they took it from my hostel room when I was sleeping.  Honestly I wish it happened when I was building in the township.  Then at least some poor family would get the money.  Knowing this fucking hostel, some lame Danish drug addict ran off with it and it trying to buy drugs from the township. 

Janet, another woman in our group, had a good amount of money stolen from an ATM.  She said something that really got me thinking.  It is a hard thing to be robbed when you wake up every morning here to do something good.  We are buiding a house for a poor family.  It's not like we're lying on the beach eating bon bons and we need some lesson on materialism. 

I have to mention that right now at the internet cafe they are showing a marathon of Jennifer Lopez videos on MTV.  Right now they are planning the worst song of hers, "Baby I Love You".

Anyway, I for some reason can not get too bad an attitude about anything here.  Building this house is so incredible.  Yesterday we starting putting up the walls.  We layed the bricks and put the windows in.  I am on the House Dedication committee so we have to think of a good gift to give to Zanele, the home owner, and her family.  Zanele is so sweet and so excited about her new home.  She keeps calling her sister telling her that a bunch of Americans are here building her a house.  This makes the Canadians very unhappy.

On the personal front, I have been thinking a lot about my family, aunt and uncles that I had not spoken to for a while.  I was feeling like I was missing my family so I emailed my Uncle Charles who I had not spoken to since my brother died.  It was a long email telling him how I was feeling and how I was feeling unsupported by them, how I felt that since my Mom died.  (They are all on my Mom's side of the family.)  He replied and said a lot of nice things.  That they all missed me a worried about me and that I have always been the person that needs a lot of space.  I need so much space that sometime people do not know the best way to be there for me.  He said he wanted to see me when he got back that he would even come to New York so we could talk it all out.  He also told me to send a postcard to my Aunt Charlotte since she worries.  It was a big breakthrough for me. 

The van is going to leave me so I should go.  More soon ...

Writing As Fast As I Can

I am at an internet cafe around the corner from the hostel I am staying at in South Africa.  They could kick me out at anytime since they are letting me stay later than they usually stay open.  Things are great here.  I do not have any time for a long meaningful entry.  All I'll say right now is that I am on day two of building a house in a township.  It is so cool to work build a home for someone.  I really feel like I am contributing something.  And though I am tried as hell, it is great.   

I have been writing in my journal a lot and have really been thinking somethings through.  There is a hot nightlife here but I have been a bit too tired to take advantage of it.  I am starting to get used to the schedule now though so that is the next phase.  I honestly can not believe that I am only doing this part of the trip for two and a half weeks.

South Africa is a really complicated country.  I know that is the oversimplification of the century but it is true.  Things are kind of weird between blacks and white.  Cape Town is really cool and cosmopolitan but it is pretty clear that it is the exception to the rule in this country.  I do feel like people are a lot more upfront about the issues that exist between black and white there.  Moreso than in the States but again, they are only celebrating 10 years of democracy.  How strange is that!

That's all I got for now.

Oh, it feels just like home is many ways.  The main one being that Mariah Carey's We Belong Together is on the radio everywhere!!! 

Leaving On A Jet Plane

It's 2:30 in the morning and my cab comes in an hour. Insane!!! Of course I left many details to the last moment but considering the fact that I fly for 24 hours (literally) sleep should not be in short supply.

I will let y'all know when I land in lovely Cape Town, South Africa and thanks for all the good wishes. Many have asked me what I want from this trip and I am not sure. A change of scenery. Time to regroup. My LP suggested that I wanted to really live again like I used to. I laughed because I love to hear him being all new agey. He might have point though.

So, later ... More to come ...

Help Wanted!

Ever have those days (or weeks) where you need a personal assistant. I used to think celebrities were lame for needing someone to drop off their dry cleaning or make their doctor's appointments. Now, I see the logic in it. I mean, I could employ someone full time. They could be the one who has to go to the Fed Ex facility in East Guam (or rather Canarsie) not once but twice even though they were home when they made their supposed attempt to drop a package off at my house. Or they can be the one who has to remind my doctor to call my pharmacist with my malaria prescription. Or they can make the last batch of DVDs I need made to send to my final round of festivals.

Oh where oh where is my cute personal assistant who tells me that it is all going to be ok. Who makes me coffee and tells me I am brilliant. Where is he? I imagine him as a cute, fresh out of college young guy who loves film and is down to hang in the hood with me eating beef patties, drinking yellow tail and coffee in my chilly kitchen.

You know what. I think I just want a boyfriend. Yeah, that's probably it. I don't think I would want him to be fresh out of college though. I might change that part.

The Dance of Sun -- The Recap

The View On The Way Up
Originally uploaded by tuckergurl.

I went to The Sundance Film Festival two years ago with Deadline. I was there for twelve days and though it was an amazing experience, it was pretty draining. I had this fantasy that with more time to roam around and not so many “responsibilities” I would enjoy the trip more than ever. It certainly was a different experience.

I wanted to go to Sundance this year to see some movies. I guess I wanted to “network”. Honestly, I do not have “goals” for trips like these. You are asked a hundred times what you are there to do, to accomplish. I am beginning to gather the language I need to describe myself and the projects I m working on. This trip really helped me do that.

Katy calls Sundance the ultimate Darwinian experiment. Some of us are blessed to evolve and some never make is past a sloth like state. This selection process is a random one but a process nonetheless. The thing about Sundance is it really separates the folks “in the know” versus the ones “not in the know”. These lines are not created by money. You benefit by who you know and how who you know can get you stuff.

Places in 2005

This is going around.

Places I've Been in 2005

Buenos Aires, Argentina
Brooklyn, NY
Washington, DC
Baltimore, MD
Jersey City, NJ
Ft. Lauderdale, FL

(These are places I've spent at least one evening at. I am excited to do this list next year!!!)

Naked Trees: A Life Update

Naked Trees
Originally uploaded by tuckergurl.

I decided to leave town and hang out with Isha’s family in Florida. They’re like my family and being in 80 degree weather with cute kids is never bad.

The trees here are naked as Isha’s nephew says. It’s wild to see what the Hurricane did. Wild! I am glad I left town. This time of year can be tough for me and so it is important that I make sure I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.

I finally can talk about something that I have wanted to talk about for months! I have told everyone that I need to tell and I can put it all out there. Starting in January, I am taking a three-month sabbatical from my job.

What am I going to do? Well, I am going to travel, wherever I can get to cheaply, mainly in Africa. I am definitely going to Nigeria and South Africa. Everything else is still up in the air. (Ms. World inspired me with her travels, I have to say.) I am just going to wing it. It is not 100% planned. I just want to travel and take a break. I feel fried. I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I need to process the past few years. I know this feeling and I know that when it comes, I have to take some steps and rethink some things. I am lucky enough to have a job that allows me to do this because I am not sure I would have if I did not have something to come back to.

Plus, I want to write. I am not fully sure what I want to write exactly but there are some things kicking around my brain. I just have not taken the time I have wanted to take to just be an artist.

Just the idea of having time in a month to just write and chill and be me and travel. It is truly a gift. I have some insurance money and just decided to invest in myself. My brother and I loved to travel and always said we would together. I feel like we kind of are. I did the same thing when my Mom passed away. We had this pact that we would go to Africa together after I graduated from college. After she passed away, I spent a semester in Ghana. It was hard and really, really amazing. One of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

So, that’s a major update. More to come …