tuckergurl

Two Things That Made My Day

I am going through a phase where I am taking everything personally.

I am going through a phase where I am feeling unloved.

It's no one's fault.  It's just how I am feeling.

These two things helped.

25 Things About Me

I was tagged with this on Facebook and tried to come up with some good answers.  Here it goes:

1. I’ve read every book by Charles Dickens.
2. I have The Breakfast Club memorized from beginning to end.
3. Wool gives me hives.
4. I desperately want to live abroad but I’m scared that NY is really the only place in the world for me.
5. I have a recurring dream that Jermaine from Flight of the Concords is my boyfriend.  Sometimes it’s a musical and sometimes we fight because of his short attention span.
6. I love trivia.
7. I wish Gloria Naylor would write another book.
8. I don't think regrets are that big a deal. They teach you things.
9. I hold grudges.
10.  I am obsessed with gentrification.
11. I am bad at returning phone calls.
12.  I love rocking chairs.
13. I refused to eat white rice for most of my childhood, much to the frustration of my Mom.
14. I don’t think I’ll ever love hip-hop the way I did in the 90s.
15. I wish I had a British accent.  (Actually I think I just want to be Zadie Smith.)
16. I would eat breakfast foods every meal if I could.
17. I make a mean spinach/feta omelet.
18. I want to write a book someday.
19. I have an addiction to bad VH1 shows.
20. I want to be truly green but I’m not sure I can make enough sacrifices. (I think about this all the time.)
21. Our Town is my favorite play.
22. Lately I just don’t get the appeal of chicken.
23. I stopped making tuna fish sandwiches because I can’t make them the same way Isha did when we were kids.
24. I say a prayer for every person that I’ve lost every night before I go to bed. It takes a long time.
25. I don’t think I am living up to my potential … yet.

My Favorite Photo

What else is there to say?

Live Your Life

I have some great entries in my journal.  They'll be up on this blog in the next week or so.  One of my resolutions (and of course I have some) is to blog more but, more importantly, to not write entries that basically consist of me talking about my needing to write more. So this is the last time I will mention this in 2009.  Moving on. 

Rihanna kind of gets on my nerves.  It's not really rational.  It's just how I feel.  (Though she has great style -- or rather a great stylist.)  But I love love love T.I.  So when their duet, Live Your Life, came out, I had mixed feelings.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I just love this song.  I sing it in the shower.  It's so catchy and I feel so badass when I sing it. 

Now, I won't get into how I am over the "It's so hard to be rich and keep your soul" song.  (Poor T.I.  He is so virtuous even while the rap game is changing into a shallow pool of money and drugs.)  Still, I think this is my anthem of 2009, contradictions and all.  What is your anthem for 2009?

One last thing, though T.I. is cute, this video is pretty bad.  Feel free to clean your house or dance around in your underwear while it is playing.  That's what I do.

Where Have I Been 08?

I really enjoy doing this entry every year.   I have kept my goal of leaving the country at least one time each year for the past four years now.  

Park City, Utah

Salt Lake City, Utah

Los Angeles, CA

Toronto, Canada
Middletown, CT

Seattle, WA

Portland, OR

Austin, TX

Washington D.C.*

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Union City, NJ*

Somerville, MA*

Boston, MA*

One or more nights spent in each place. Those cities marked with an * were visited multiple times on non-consecutive days.  I'm not counting places in NY because I live there.  It seems silly.  Even New Jersey seems silly but it makes the list longer.

I want to go to more places that I have not been to next year.  This year, the only place that was an entirely new place was Toronto.  A goal for 09.

*This post has been updated thank to L. Britt.  How could I forget Boston?!  I'm such a bad girl.

A Good Crash ... Not Like The Film

This time of year sort of makes me grumpy.  I am always burnt out from work.  The holidays sort of depress me.  I am weary of awkward conversations and the general sadness I feel.  Also, I am a total slob around this time.  I just .. can't .. get it together.  Plus, the economy makes everything harder this year.  

Blah, blah, blah.  

In my email today was a request from one of those marketing companies that approach bloggers.  For those of you who don't have blogs or who just don't know what I am talking about, these people somehow find you and want you to blog about an artist, writer, event, whatever.  I have no idea how they found me especially because I've been such an infrequent blogger in the past few months.  

I usually ignore these emails but this one caught my eye because it featured an artist I have a little crush on:  Matt Nathanson.His music is very Grey's Anatomy meets Scrubs.  I have his live CD which was given to me as a gift.  He is just so funny and irreverent (and a little adorable) in concert.  I usually find the live CD banter to be an annoying somewhat awkward endeavor (see Lauryn Hill's live MTV Unplugged CD for an example of this -- scary) where singers try really hard to be funny or deep or something.  Matt is just right.  He's really funny but doesn't talk too much and has a great voice.

The marketing emailer actually wanted me to blog about some initiative that MTV was doing but I wasn't that into it.  I did go to You Tube to hear Matt Nathanson's most recent song, Car Crash.  It is a great song about wanting to feel more alive and I am a sucker for those kinds of songs.  (2008 was a really great year in terms of taking more control of my life/happiness and I feel like 2009 has even more in store! More love and creativity for sure.  For sure.  I had to bring it back to me.  Couldn't help myself.)

In the comments for the YouTube video, one user wrote the following:  "i was looking for a car crash! and i found this! IT WAS GOD LEADING ME TO AWESOMENESS"    That line just moved me. Imagine doing some google search to find info about a car crash that someone you knew was in or figuring out how to deal with car crashes or something difficult like that.  And all of a sudden you were brought to this song about feeling more alive and having faith that if you give in to something, you'll be all right. That is really a gift.  Good things can come along when you need them.  

So here's to more good things coming along when you need them.  Enjoy!

Do Not Leave Unattended

Awhile back, I was given a journal by my friend, Ari, for a new collaborative notebook project called Do Not Leave Unattended.  Jude, the creator of this initiative, sends out notebooks and the recipients get two weeks to fill the next page (or pages), before passing them on. The results so far display a delightful hodge-podge of writing and art.  Well, I was really, really remiss and kept my journal for almost two months!  I totally suck but Jude understood.  Thanks goodness.  You can read my scanned entries here.

I did my first entry as a venting process during the weeks before the election.  As you can read, I was pretty freaked out about Obama not winning.  I am happy it all worked out. 

As for the second, it is a saying that I keep posted in my house.  Lately it has really resonates for me. 

Something Inspiring ... Hopefully

My friend wrote this great blog entry entitled  Ten Steps to Creative Success, Holistically!  It spoke to me partially because I am filmmaker/writer but also because I am trying to take more time to keep my physical health a priority. 

I've accomplished a feat I am proud of:  I've lost 50 pounds!  It was not easy and it stemmed from my feeling really weak, tired and generally bad about myself.  This section in her blog entry really resonated with me:

Recently, I was speaking in Ohio at the College of Wooster and after my keynote I did a Q & A with the students.  One of the ladies int he audience asked, how do you do what you do and take care of yourself?  I was quiet for a second (which is long for me) but I was thinking to myself as I stood there how utterly tired and just worn I was feeling from all the travel over the past few months which allowed me to cross over seven states by planes, trains and automobiles.  How my feet were hurting, and it wasn't just from the past two months...it was had accumulated over the past five years.  I had the stomach stress to prove it.

I feel better now than I have in a long time.  Still, I have more to accomplish not just with my physical health but in my emotional and creative health. 

The economy is hitting me in a variety of ways that I don't want to get into here.  (Don't worry.  I still have my job.)  But I am going to have to make some serious sacrifices and, more importantly, going to have to think out the box to help feed myself.  One thing I think would be great would be to do #9 on Elisha's list of ten: 

Keep a Gratitude Journal.  The economy can be crazy for those working and even crazier if your in business for yourself awaiting that next gig, grant or payable.  It's easy to be grateful when you feel the abundance.  But, if you're an artist that's been in the business for ten years awaiting that great big break, be grateful that you're doing what you love. If you can be in the moment, the universe has a way of allowing what you need to enter. Stay focused on the fact that you want to be a lifelong artist, not a one minute wonder.

I have so many things to be thankful for and though it is a hard road ahead, I have faith that I can make it all work.

Wendy and Lucy

I really want to see this film.  I'm not sure why.  It looks sort of boring but I have faith.  The Times review was really interesting.  But here is my favorite part.  I do adore the way they write about ratings.  It is pretty interesting:

“Wendy and Lucy” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It has some swearing, a little drug use and a brief implication of violence, but no nudity, sex or murder. The rating seems to reflect, above all, an impulse to protect children from learning that people are lonely and that life can be hard.

Invisible Men

I've been meaning to post these for a long, long time.  I just wanted to call your attention to two short pieces that I directed entitled Invisible Men.  They are now live on The National Black Programming Consortium’s (NBPC) new site, The Masculinity Project.  I worked with a homeless outreach program, Common Ground, to find two, formerly homeless men to interview for these pieces.  They are both really amazing men.  These pieces are a part of NBPC’s Masculinity Project which features commissioned shorts about the black male experience in the US.  I am really proud of them so when you have a sec, check them out.  

INVISIBLE MEN:ANDREW’S STORY

INVISIBLE MEN: GREGORY’S STORY