tuckergurl

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Oliver Stone is so ballsy.  This movie sort of scares me.  I'm not sure why.  How much of this movie is true?  Where did it come from?  So many questions.

It's Not OK

It’s not ok to confuse me with another black girl. It’s just not.

It’s especially not ok to confuse me with a black girl four shades darker or a girl four inches shorter.

You know what. It’s not ok even if the girl has a passing resemblance to me.

I don’t care if you are really embarrassed.

I don’t care if you feel bad.

It’s especially not ok if I had a long conversation with you, over an hour. You had enough time to look at my face and see what features I have that differentiate me from other black girls.

It’s not ok to confuse me with other black girls in our high school alumnae magazine. This is really not ok especially because all you had to do was fact check. Grab a person – heck, grab a black person that went to high school with us -- and check.

There are a lot white women with dark hair in their 30s. I don’t confuse them.

There are a lot of white men with blonde hair in their 20s. I don’t confuse them.

A brief story that’s not ok but is funny. One guy came up to me and hugged me tight. I pulled away knowing he had me confused with another black girl. He paused and realized his mistake. He said, “You’re not the girl I hung out with last night.”

“Nope.”

“Oh, we had a really amazing conversation.”

I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say and he still had his hand on my waist. Was he hitting on me? It was just too strange so I say, “I’m gonna go now.”

My Dad used to confuse young, white men all the time. While watching The Thin Red Line, he couldn’t tell the difference between Jim Caviezel and Ben Chaplin. It made the movie really confusing for him. I couldn’t understand what was so confusing. Jim Caviezel has beautiful blue eyes and Ben Chaplin has brown puppy dog eyes. Dad said he didn’t look at people’s eye color and he’s not into men so they all looked the same to him.

So maybe it’s not a race thing.

I think it is though. I think that some people live in a world where they are entirely surrounded by people who look like them. I don't live in this world. I can't live in this world.

Get it together. Open your eyes.

I am no longer going to let you off the hook.

I don’t care if I make you feel bad.

You should feel bad.

It's just not ok.

(Note: This post has a photo of Jill Scott because every black girl I know who is not a waif has been told she looks like her. Even those who really don't.)

T Magazine

I love the Screen Test short pieces that T Magazine, does. They are black and white, sometimes irreverant portraits of cool famous people. I love their taste in celebs. This morning I watched Matthew Goode (Tara: Check this out. You won't be sorry.) He is adorable. Peter Sarsgaard is great too mainly because you never get to see him in interviews and he's smart. He really does not work enough. Anyway, check them out.

A Me Update

I have a nice long entry in draft about my recent surgery for fibroids and how it has really got me thinking about how precious life is. However, it is one of those entries that is going to take a long time to write and since it's been a while since I've written here, I decided to bite the bullet with a brief update entry and just get back to posting. Sometimes when it has been a while, you feel like you have to give this whole long update and the idea of that just feels so daunting that you don't write anything at all. So, I am going to just write a quick update and over time, I will write more about each of these things:

1. I had surgery for fibroids. I recovered pretty quickly. I'm glad I finally did it.
2. I've been doing Weight Watchers and have lost 30 pounds. It has been hard but great.

Actually those are the two most important things. I could give you work updates but who cares about that? More meaningful entries to come ...

Things To Watch Online ... For Free

I worked on this film, Election Day, and think you should check it out.  A bit about the film:  "Forget the pie charts, color-coded maps and hyperventilating pundits. What's the street-level experience of voters in today's America? In a triumph of documentary storytelling, "Election Day" combines 11 stories — shot simultaneously on November 2, 2004, from dawn until long past midnight — into one. "  I meant to post the broadcast info but it came and went.  But fret not, you can watch it online until the end of July. 

There is also the most recent Media That Matters Film Festival.  OK, I work there but you should check it out because there are some good shorts.