Off The Grid

I had the strangest dream last night.

I dreamed that I got a tattoo on the outside of my hand. It was the Grand Theft Auto logo. (This is the huge image that you see before this entry. I wanted it big and bold so that you can see how crazy this would look on my hand.) It was ugly. Grand Theft Auto plays no role in my life. I have no idea where this came from.

But I was feeling spontaneous and since it did not hurt, in my brain I thought it was just like getting a stamp. (How getting a tattoo like this across my hand could feel like just putting a stamp on my hand is really dream logic.)

Anyway, I went to work and everyone was polite about it. Looking back, no one said they liked it but they were all kind of like, "Hey, what a badass thing to do." I was a bit nervous about it because I had always been the girl with a tattoo (I have one on my shoulder.) who always wanted the flexibility to not have a tattoo. This was a big deal but I was ok with it.

Then I saw Isha, my best friend. She was not so gracious. She didn't yell at me exactly but her disapproval was so strongly felt that I could not deny it. She was like, "It's not that you got a tattoo on the front of your hand. It's that you got the Grand Theft Auto logo on the front of your hand. Why would you do that?" I didn't really have an answer. I then became angry with her because she made me feel bad about my bad decision.

I am about to go on a retreat of sorts. NAMAC has a Leadership Institute that is a retreat about 90 minutes from Portland. I am now in Seattle visiting a friend and will head over to Portland to be picked up to go to this retreat. I will be completely off the grid. This means no phone, no email, no television. I am mostly nervous about no internet but honestly I need a break from constant communication. I will be back on Friday.

Maybe as someone way to mentally prepare for this, I was able to do something I've been needing to do for a long time. I cut off my cable. I was going to get rid of it altogether but I just got rid of the box and downgraded to basic cable which saved me $50 a month. It is amazing how expensive cable is. $50 may not sound like a lot but since I have a problem constantly ordering films on demand and increasing my bill by $30-$40 a month, it really is a whole lot more. I still have my internet and phone through my cable modem which is through Cablevision. I may switch the way I do this because Cablevision is such a monopoly here in New York and I am not sure I want to necessarily support that but that rant is for another day.

Well, I have to run to the airport. I am sure I will have many reflections on my trip to Seattle and most likely my retreat. In the meantime, what the heck did my dream mean?