tuckergurl

Miranda Is On Her Way Back

I might be the only one who cares but ...

Exciting development news: Miranda July's sophomore feature, Satisfaction, is inching closer to production. Variety reports that the UK's Film4 and France's MK2 have signed on to produce the American film. July is an amazing artist, writer, and filmmaker. Her debut (as director, writer, and co-star) was the magical Me and You and Everybody We Know, which was easily my personal favorite of the films released in 2005. The announcement states that July will also write, direct, and co-star in the new film. From Variety: "The contempo romantic comedy turns on a young couple: Jason, goes off on an ecological mission; Sophie starts an affair with an older man. Both events threaten the relationship."

Being Real

This morning I read this incredible entry from a blogger I do not know personally but have been reading for quite some time. She is trying to get pregnant and is having a hard time doing so. I love her photography and was initially drawn to her for that. Now I feel like I've come to know her. Blogs are so strange that way.

I do not relate to wanting to get pregnant (obviously) but I do relate to this feeling of not being sure what to write about on your blog, to this feeling that because you were in a positive space, you do not want to reveal that you have quickly turned that positive space into a negative one. I am not Pollyanna. No one comes here to read my inspirational quips but as the number of people who read my blog grows, I have been a bit more self conscious that I used to be. I go back to my earlier entries where I was so real and raw. Now I sometimes feel a bit ... back to that word ... self conscious.

I know that people do not expect me to be happy or perfect or have it all figured out. Because well, I don't. But I never talk here about the hard time I am having dealing with going into the hospital, for example, when my entire immediate family has died there. It feels so irrational and over the top especially because my surgery is fairly minor. And I never talk about how hard it is for me to find a mate and that as more time passes, I become more and more worried about it. And I also never talk about how hard it can be working on a film that no one wants to fund me for though I see people all around me getting funded all the time. And I never talk about my seriously beginning to consider adoption, earlier than I ever thought I would, not because I do not think I can physically have a baby -- I've become more ambivalent about that as time goes on especially because I already know that I am going to have a hard time because of some health stuff. -- but because I have been thinking/wanting to adopt a slightly older child.

Honestly though when I go through phases where I am not writing here, I am not really going deep in my personal journal either. I am simply using it for my grocery list or movie list or a space to gripe about the annoying people on the train with me that morning. (I write in my journal during my 40 min commute to work.)

Anyway, I do not know an ending for this. Sorry for run on sentences. I have to go to work so I am done. Later!

Obama at Wesleyan commencement

Obama at Wesleyan commencement
Originally uploaded by erabino

L. Britt and I met in New Haven and headed over to our alma mater to hear Barack deliver the commencement speech. (Ted Kennedy was the original speaker but for obvious reason, he had to sit it out.) We were worried that it was going to be a bit of zoo but it was better than we thought. We did not sit on Foss Hill with the rest of the alumni because it was too crowded and honestly, I really did not want to see a lot of people. I wanted to hang with Lauren and hear Barack. I wasn't really up for the whole Wes reunion thing.

I am still amazed that after so many speeches I am still so inspired by him. After following his career for so long, I am still in shock that he has come this far. He really could be our President! It really is happening! (I have mixed feeling about the idea of Clinton as his running mate but I'll talk about that another day.)

Like I mentioned in my last post, I have been thinking of being a mentor and this speech is also a part of the reason why. I have been wanting to do more in the service of other people.

You can watch a great, high res version of his speech here.

What I Am Not Talking About

Originally uploaded by catalan

My upcoming surgery that I am sort of nervous but also excited about.

My weight loss which takes all of my energy.  Energy that has kept me from here. 

My newfound vanity about my weight loss wishing I was seeing more of a difference in my appearance.  Why does that matter?

My new found bad spending habits. 

My desire to talk to some folks from home but my inability to call them.

My crazy work load that is now lightened a bit.  The project that I talk crypitcally about has some new help which keeps me away from it and I could not be happier.

My confusion over the male gender.

My nervousness over finishing a new project on time.

My new thoughts about possibly being a big sister/mentor to a young, black girl.  Susan Taylor gave me the idea.  (I didn't talk to her or anything.  I just saw a special on BET about her.)

My upcoming meeting of a sort of celeb I mentioned here that I had a racy dream about.  (No, not Wentworth.)   I had to take the entry down because I immediately became self conscious about it. 

My being so behind in my movie viewing.  Why haven't I seen Iron Man yet?

My new music that I am so into: Estelle, Santogold, Vampire Weekend.

The Edge of Love

More meaningful entries to come ...  Meantime, this trailer is pretty.

I love Matthew Rhys (Kevin on Brothers and Sisters) and he, along with Cillian Murphy, Keira Knightly and Sienna Miller are in this movie.  I think I might have to see it.

This is what the hooplah is about!

Here is the Miley Cyrus photo that is causing a stir.  Um ... what?  There is nothing racy about this.  Sorry.  I expected far worse than this.  What is up with this conservative time we are in?  Geez.

I need to see Iron Man!!!

Like now!