tuckergurl

The Hum Drum Oscars

I know the year it happened, 1985, and I was nine. The Color Purple was nominated for eleven Academy Awards. I had seen it two times with my Mom and loved it. Oscar night came around and we all gathered in front of the TV. And then it happened. Out of Africa won EVERYTHING! I couldn't believe it. Didn't understand it. That was the year I became jaded.

The funny thing is that Out of Africa wasn't even the best film. Witness, Kiss of the Spiderwoman, Cocoon, Agnes of God and Prizzi's Honor were all that year!!! We can only dream of a year like that. God, I wonder if there will ever be a year like that. But this year, a bunch of people won that I don't really care about. (Except Jamie Foxx, who gave the most poised speech of the night.) And though I predicted many of them (winning the Oscar pool at the party I attended), I was able to predict them out of sheer cynicism.

The highlight of the Oscars was Chris Rock, by far. God, he's hysterical. I'm not sure if they are ever going to let him host again but his opening monologue was brilliant. My friend equated the George Bush rant to the Marion Berry rants he used to do at the beginning of his career and I agree. Still, talking about how anyone else would lose their job for being as bad at it as Bush is and then using the metaphor of the Gap employee who is a trillion dollars short on his register, who then decides to go to war against Banana Republic for having toxic tank tops and then, once taking over Banana Republic, realizing that they did not even have tank tops in the first place was brilliant!!!!

In terms of dresses, Halle Berry is flawless as usual! Her weave was a bit out of control but she can literally pull anything off. I wasn't a big fan of Hillary Swank's dress. I didn't like how it came all up on her neck. Kate Winslet was stunning as usual. Someone needs to give her an Academy Award!

Poor, poor Marty!!! No Best Director Oscar for Marty!! I won't see The Aviator because I hate Leonardo DiCaprio and it looks boring but when you win Best Cinematography, Best Art Direction and on and on but don't win Best Director, it makes one wonder who Marty made mad, because he made someone mad.

I think that Marty has already made his best films, Raging Bull, Mean Streets, Good Fellas, and that he just might never get one. Gangs of New York and The Aviator can't even touch those films.

I just have nothing to say about Beyonce singing the Best Song nominees. Am I the only person who thinks she cna't sing that well. I mean, I love Crazy in Love but a balladeer she's not and her eye makeup was so so bad in every dress she was in.

That's all I got for now. More sarcastic comments might come out later but since I watched it with a bunch of people, I think I got them all out last night.

Oh, I do have one last one: Renee Zellweger needs a hot meal. Usually I offer to cook but in this case, she's on her own!

And Johnny Depp. Why can't he just deal with the fact that he's hot and stop fighting it? I know beauty is a burden but get over it. Get a haircut and shave.

You Know I Gotta Write About The Academy Awards ...

and I will tomorrow.  Going to a party which I'm excited about but overall, as has been said by just about everyone, this year is l-a-m-e.

My picks:

Best Picture:  Million Dollar Baby

Best Director:  Martin Scorsese

Best Actor:  Jamie Foxx (that's a lock!)

Best Actress:  Hillary Swank

Best Supporting Actress:  Virginia Madsen (though I am least sure about this one)

Best Supporting Actor:  Morgan Freeman  (I can not believe he has never won before!!!!)

Those are my picks.  I am excited about all the black folks at the Oscars this year!  Chris Rock is the highlight for me.  I can't wait!

SAVE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!!!

Fox gave Arrested Development a shorter episode order and that's a crime! I recently watched the DVD for Season One and it is hysterical! I am totally smitten with it and can not handle the fact that it may be gone forever.

Now, I know this probably doesn't work but I signed a petition to save the show and I want you to sign it too. At least I can I say I did all I could.

Smooth & Creamy ...

... means THIN and WATERY. Stonyfield Farm's Lowfat Organic Yogurt is gross! Their regular yogurt is fine but do not buy lowfat.

By the way, Stonyfield Yougurt has a blog!

Jennifer Lopez' New CD

In the shower, I had this thought:

This is her fourth CD!! Can you believe it? What is this world coming to? She is working on a new Spanish language CD filled with ballads. Yikes!

Girl/Woman

One day I was chatting with my boss. I can’t remember what I was saying, what she was saying, the context, but at one point she said to me, “You know, you’re kind of a girl/woman.”

“What does that I mean?” I ask.

She starts laughing a bit, not sure if she’s hurt my feelings or something and replies, “You know. You have that part girl/part woman thing going on. You’re not quite one or the other.” I didn’t think she meant it in a bad way though honestly, I’m not 100% sure. She finished by saying, “It’s just who you are.”

I think about this all the time. Mainly because I think there is truth to it both good and bad.

Yeah, I am into cheesy music, watch movies like The Princess Diaries, shows like Everwood, get silly crushes on guys I don’t know, wear my hair in pigtails, I could honestly go on and on. And those things make me who I am. I wouldn’t change most of those things. (Though many of you might feel differently, especially about The Princess Diaries part)

I am definately a woman. I have my lovely Rubenesque figure. I speak my mind, have a good job, have lived on my own since I was 18, wear dresses sometimes, drink fancy wine if given the opportunity, have travelled some.

But sometimes the girl part of me, the negative aspects of that persona, takes over and even I have to admit that it’s a problem.

Podcasts?

I already have a hard time down loading the clips from the This American Life website so I think this piece of technology might have to pass me by.

A podcasts is a, "a podcast, a kind of recording that, thanks to a technology barely six months old, anyone can make on a computer and then post to a Web site, where it can be downloaded to an iPod or any MP3 player to be played at the listener's leisure." People have shows coming right from their own living rooms! Check it out.

The Anti-Gates

I have yet to see The Gates. I'm taking a trip next week but please check out this site by a guy who is making some spoof on The Gates. The other pictures aren't quite as good but you gotta give it up to him for being funny.

The Times did an article about his talking about some of his previous work. It hysterical:

Just who is Hargo? Is he some kind of genius wrapper? His name is Geoff Hargadon, he is 50 and, in a telephone interview, he would only say, enigmatically, "Art is not my profession." His last installation was a studio full of discarded ATM receipts. The show was called "Balance." It was about "people, privacy and money," he said, adding: "You want to know how much people have?

How Harsh Is This

I have a friend who wrote a play that went on Broadway about a year ago. The previews went fine. He had a few stars in it. And then the play opened and it got a really bad review from The New York Times. And the play closed in the first weekend. That is the power of the Times review. It's actually quite incredible. The end of Arthur, Arthur's last half an hour is spent waiting for the Times review!

So when I read reviews like this, when they know the power of the Times review, I think it is kind of harsh. How can you belittle people's work like this. This is a review of Happy Days. Here is one of the worst quotes of all:

It's certainly possible to imagine a more ill-conceived production of Samuel Beckett's "Happy Days" than the Worth Street Theater Company staging currently on view at the Classic Stage Company, with the comic Lea DeLaria rampaging through the central role, laying thorough waste to Beckett's acidic vision.

Wi-Fi All Over Philadelphia

This is cool. Check it out. I can't wait until New York jumps on the bandwagon:

City officials envision a seamless mesh of broadband signals that will enable the police to download mug shots as they race to crime scenes in their patrol cars, allow truck drivers to maintain Internet access to inventories as they roam the city, and perhaps most important, let students and low-income residents get on the net.