tuckergurl

Busy, Busy, Busy

I feel I would be remiss if I did not make a shout out to Deadline which is opening at The Quad Cinema in New York City on Friday and is running for one week. If you have not seen it (and a friend or two of mine have drunkenly admitted so recently at a party), please do. The first weekend is a big one for films so try to come out then. I will be there after the 7:20pm showing on Friday for a talkback with the rest of the gals who made the flick.

October is the month we are doing screenings all over New York which is one of 7 target states. For those who don't know, New York currently has a defacto moratorium on the death penalty. (That's not really what you call it but it sounds official.) Essentially, the death penalty was shown to be unconstitutional in the Supreme Court in New York. So now, the legislators are going to try to sneak back into office and make a decision about whether or not to reinstate the death penalty. You can learn more at New Yorkers Against the Death Penalty's site. Writing about this feels too much like work and though it is important, I am tired from it already. If you want to learn more about what I do, read this article. It will clear everything up. (Though the picture of me is not a good one. I look like I have a lot of conviction though.)

Though I need to do a rewrite of my short film, I feel I must take in large amounts of alcohol and watch the debates. My friend, Lauren, is watching them with me. I have this thing where watching Bush makes me very sad and uncomfortable. I literally can't sit through it. I still feel lukewarm about Kerry but am a follower out of lack of choice.

I'm sure I (like the rest of planet earth) will have comments on the debate. Jon Stewart's opinions are the ones I am the most interested in though.

I Want To Win A MacArthur

Today they announced The MacArthur Fellows. These "Genius Grants" are $500,000 and range from a barber who sells Latin American books in his shop to writers to a forensics teacher. I love how diverse the backgrounds of the winners are. Plus, they are always good about giving grants to young people who can really use the money to make a difference in their work over time and older people whose grants function more as a lifetime achievement award.

I know that I should be modest and hope that someone acknowledges all of my hard work someday but if you don't put it out there, no one will ever know. I want a MacArthur someday. I'll keep you posted.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted!

I really don't have a lot to say about my vacation. I went to New Orleans by myself. This was my first vacation alone ever! I have always wanted to do it but have barely taken any vacation let alone vacations without an escort.

The hardest part was accepting that I could do whatever I want. I didn’t have to party if I didn’t want to. I didn’t have to have gumbo because it was “New Orleans way”. I could have burgers and feel no guilt. So, that is what I did: nothing much. It was really great. I feel really rested and focused.

Here is a brief but uninteresting summary:

-Slept late every day
-Watched a fair amount of TV. (Couldn’t quite tell you what I actually watched though. Oh wait, I watched some country music videos, A Drew Barrymore voting doc on MTV. Real “quality” stuff.)
-Ate so so much from po boys to beignets, you name it.
-Went to galleries and museums.
-Read the newspaper from cover to cover.
-Slept.
-Thought about ex-boyfriends.
-Thought about my own problems and no one else's.
-Read three books:

A Home At The End of The World, Michael Cunningham - an engrossing book but somewhat corny. I figured it made more sense to read the book than watch the movie with Robin Wright Penn who drives me nuts! I have to admit that it really got to me.
No More Prisons, William Upski Wimsatt - a book that I purchased at a used bookstore in the French Quarter. I am a bit behind because this book has been around for a while and I am just getting on board with it. I like that it isn’t exactly about prison but I do think that there are some fantastic bits. I am not sure if it comes together as a book. I was really inspired though because I have kicking around the idea of writing a book and Billy made me feel like it is possible.
-The Reluctant Metrosexual : Dispatches from an Almost Hip Life – The title was great and I thought it would be funny but it’s not quite funny enough. I felt like my friend, Paul Greenberg, who is also a writer would’ve written this book a 100 times better.

-Had a Hurricane and got drunk. Never gotten drunk by myself before. Luckily, my friend Isha was home and advised me to get some fries and go to bed.
-Walked around the French Quarter both during the day and with the frat boys at night.

Breaking News

Conan O'Brien is taking over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno ... in 2009. This story was all over the internet today. I don't even know what I'm doing next month let alone in 2009!

Chisholm 72 at BAM

I have many tales to share from my solo vacation but for now wanted to tell you guys about a great film that I am a big cheerleader for. Chisholm 72 is an inspirational and fun documentary about Shirley Chisholm's 1972 run for president. You should support it and more imporantly, support a young black filmmaker.

Gone Fishin'

I am off to New Orleans for my first solo vacation. I am so excited I can't even contain myself!!!!!! Things will be slow in blog land because I am not bringing my laptop. It is a very scary endeavor but I am going to try it. I will be back on Monday so I am sure there will be stories to tell. Send out good energy for a safe and peaceful journey.

Black Woodstock

I was sitting on my butt all day Saturday doing yoga and watching DVDs and what did I miss but Dave Chappelle's secret concert in Clinton Hill with The Roots, Mos Def, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Kanye West, a Fugees reunion and more! The New York Times wrote kind of a strange review. I feel like people over think music but I guess it can be said that I over think movies.

The Emmys -- A Recap

I am addicted to award shows. It’s a real issue. Here are my thoughts in no particular order:

This Allison Janney thing has GOT TO STOP. I mean, how many times is she going to win. The West Wing is NOT good anymore. Deal with it.

Adventures In Online Dating

I have finally broken down. After having dinner with yet another friend who is madly in love with a guy she met on match/nerve/bust/lava life, I broke down and created a profile. I won't say where because I can't bear for you all to find it. It's only been two days and I have to say: I'm not sure this whole thing is for me. I'll explain.

In theory, it's all a good idea. Online dating actually seems empowering. Instead of sitting around and hoping that fate or your friends throw this perfect person in your lap, you instead are taking the bull by the horns and deciding the kind of person that you want. Creating my profile did feel good because it forced me to write down the kinds of things I am looking for: a sense of humor, integrity, someone who likes what they do or who can fake it really well ... The list goes on. But with online dating comes rules, lots of them and that's before you even go out on the date.

On Nerve, (there I spilled) there is this weird system where you can "wink" at someone or send them a "note". Now, a lot of people don't like getting a "wink" because the person doesn't have to pay to send you a "wink" but you have to pay to reply. This is kind of like a guy at a bar saying he wants to take you out for a drink but you having to pay to get into the bar to get that free drink. It's not the worst thing someone can do but it's not great.

A "note" means someone shelled out a dollar to speak to you and is making a solid move. This is preferred but a lot of people don't like to use their credits on someone they don't know or are not sure about. This line of thinking is strange to me because aren't you already doing that by embarking on online dating.

Then there is the "Instant Chat". Now, I am not a big fan of IM. Never have been. This is the control freak in me who likes to pick and choose when she corresponds with people. This "Instant Chat" option means that if you are online, guys can "Instant Chat" with you. This is a bit disconcerting for me. My friends say I have to get over that but it just seems kind of aggressive to me.

My friend says I just need to send notes to guys I like and only to reply to the guys I think are cool. There's no need to correspond with people you feel even lukewarm about. I agree but then there is another issue: profiles.

Some people can not write or present themselves in strange ways that you are wondering if that is how they really are or if they just can't write a profile. And you gotta wonder about the guys who mention sex in just about every line of their profile. A few guys like that have "winked" at me. Hmm ...

Goran (my licensed professional) claims that I really am lukewarm about dating in general. That I see dating as a thinly veiled way of someone trying to get me to take care of them and since I've done that my entire life with my parents, I retreat from it as much as possible. That I date emotionally unavailable men because the relationship can operate in this sort of surface way and therefore, nothing is really expected of me (or them for that matter).

A male friend of mine told me his shrink said he had the same problem. His brother had gone into rehab and his family had grappled with his drug problem for a really long time and at the end of that, he just didn't have anything to give. He said, "The whole idea that I have to take on yet another huge relationship where I have to be the emotional center was too much. I mean, I know it doesn't have to be like that but I couldn't see it that way." He also made this funny comment about men being able to sleep around to delude themselves that they are being intimate whereas women aren't able to that as easily .. or rather I am not able to do that as easily.

So where does this leave me? Well, I don't have an answer right now because I haven't had my morning coffee. I think I'll just take this one step at a time. Of course I'll keep you posted.

Morgan Spurlock ...

the director of Super Size Me, was rejected from USC film school five times! Geez!