tuckergurl

The War and Rumsfeld

I haven’t been talking about the war or the photos of the soldiers or stupid Rumsfeld. Why? Because The New Yorker and NPR do it for me and I don’t really have anything insightful to add to the dialogue. Still for the purposes of letting people know that I have a clue: Yes I think Rumsfeld should be fired and the soldiers are really fucked up for taking those pictures but obviously since there are so many of them, this must be done all the time in some kind of horrifically standardized way and yes, I’m bummed to be an American and yes, I can’t quite figure out why we are still in Iraq and Bush’s speech about leaving Iraq when it is a democratic nation leads me to believe that we are going to be there forever and now I’ll never be able to go abroad again for fear of dodging rocks and bullets and of course we should vote for Kerry even though he is a bit too Massachusetts gold old boy, kind of boring and bland. Those are my opinions. Obviously I have over simplified everything but that’s what Air America and Woodward’s book are for. Check them out. They know what they’re talking about.

My Day At The Personal Democracy Forum Or How I Became A Computer Geek?

This past, Monday (an eternity ago, I’m told, in the blogging world), I attended The Personal Democracy Forum about politics and the internet. The forum’s goal, in their own words, is to, “plant flag and validate this new arena.” This being the “brave new world of ‘Net-Politics’ industry.” I went for two reasons:
1. As Outreach Director for Deadline, one of my duties is to put together a website that will be live during the broadcast and will allow viewers to take action and learn more about the (sad and horribly broken) criminal justice system in the US of A. Therefore, politics and the internet have been on my mind a lot lately.
2. David Jacobs made me go.

I had just gotten off of the red-eye from San Francisco to New York. (Deadline screened at The Roxie in the Mission and we came to do a few Q and As. The turnout was a bit lean but it’s still cool to go to lovely San Fran. Thanks to everyone for coming out and for those in San Fran, check it out! OK plug over.) The plane was completely booked and of course, my 6 foot tall self was in the middle seat. Needless to say, I got one hour, maybe two of sleep before the forum. This probably wasn’t a good idea.

I was really struck by the lack of diversity at this conference. I haven’t seen this many white men since a traumatic Dave Matthews Band concert outing years ago with my friend, Lauren. During Session Two (Bloggers, Journalists and Politicians), I became really frustrated and decided to raise my hand. Now, admittedly, I did not have a specific question. More, as a blogger, I was interested in this dialogue that had gone on all day about a national forum to an audience that mainly was middle to upper class, college educated white men. By making statements such as blogging has become a force that galvanizes large groups of people to question the world and their politicians (aka what they did for Howard Dean) but then in the same breath not discuss the lack of diversity that exists within it, is kind of problematic.

Now, let me paint you a picture. As one of two women of color in the audience at that point (Shout out to Naina from indyvoter.org as the other), I am pretty conspicuous. So before I even get a chance to finish my sentence, everyone begins to applaud. I think they heard “lack of diversity” and it was an impulse. I instantly became nervous, especially since my picture was being taken, and ended up asking my question a bit awkwardly. I think I said something about them needing to speak to the lack of diversity in the audience and how are people trying to make blogging accessible to people of varying ethnicities and socio-economics.

Other than Chris Nolan , my question went unanswered and worse, unaddressed. One comment, the one that drives me nuts in this situation, was that the great thing about blogging is that people from all socio-economic and ethnicities can be blogging and you have no idea who they are or where they come from. OK, so essentially, the great thing about blogging is that people of color can be stripped of their identity so that white people can feel comfortable around them. Um, I thought blogging was created to give those who feel voiceless a voice and I think people of color, especially poor, people of color are the most voiceless community out there. Still, as a politician made clear, it’s all about who votes so the rest of world doesn’t really matter. Scary.

At lunch, Anil from Six Apart (who by the way needs to give me my promised typepad discount) was talking about how typepad was trying to make strides in this by having blogs in several languages all over the world. Plus, even I have to admit they are pretty damn cheap. Still, even he admitted that doing anything on the web is expensive, from the $500-$1000 computer, to the $20 internet account, etc and we are still a long way from it being accessible to everyone.

For the rest of the evening, everyone either was being strange with me or trying too hard to make me feel included. Needless to say, I didn’t stay for the whole thing. My frappacinno wasn’t keeping me awake anymore and watching moveon.org and meetup.com argue about who is cooler was making me tired. Plus, I never really wanted to be a computer geek. It just kind of happened.

David and Finn both said the speech by Ralph Reed (the Southeast Regional Chairman for the Bush/ Cheney campaign) was really good because as David put it, “They’re not afraid to win.” Sad but true. So many of these liberal politicians are so touchy feely and hands on and it’s like, just fucking win already!!!!

Check out Personal Democracy’s blog for a blow by blow of the rest of the forum by people who know what they’re talking about.

Something I’m Feeling Right Now

Someone I know betrayed me. Not a close friend but ... I don’t really want to get into it because a blog just isn’t the place for it. There are things called journals and people called therapists and mine has gotten quite a bit of mileage out of this one. I guess I felt like I wanted to acknowledge it on my blog. I am feeling a bit insecure and angry in an almost psychotic postal worker way though I am trying not to let it weigh on my mind or spirit. I got a pedicure and my eyebrows done and am feeling prettier at least. So thanks Beebs, Goran and Isha! I appreciate your kind words and know I’m loved and appreciated in this kind of fucked up world.

Media That Matters Film Fest

Sometimes it is cool, the job I have. I helped out at The Media That Matters Film Fest’s award ceremony and was Chuck D’s wrangler. What a nice and down to earth guy! I really loved i dream of africa and Spring in Awe. They were just beautiful and simple films. Bush for Peace is sheer brillance! But I have to say that I just feel like in this political climate everyone is so focused on getting Bush out of office that they act like there is no other issue in the world. It’s kind of upsetting and annoying. But that’s another entry.

Family Stuff

I guess I never realized how much my parents were buffers for me from the rest of my family. I just feel like I have so little in common with the rest of my family and I barely know them. And now I don't have my parents anymore. And I'm just trying to connect with them and it's really hard. I kind of can't be more coherent than that.

More Thoughts From My Airplane

I am on a flight to San Francisco, which I’m excited about. I love it there. I can buy all the used books and vintage clothing I can stand. I thought I would give some more thoughts from the air. Again, take and leave:

1. The videos that they show on planes are always the most random things in the world. My flight from Atlanta to Cali featured Lionel Ritchie with a girl who is so much younger than him, it’s funny. Plus, she is super hip and crunchy and well, he’s not so he just looks like one of those guys who won’t accept that he’s getting old. Actually, he probably is one of those guys.

2. I love babies. I really do. I want one or two. But I don’t love crying babies on a small flight. And can someone tell me what is up with people’s problems disciplining their children. If I threw my skittles on the ground and stomped on them and screamed at my Mom, I would’ve been hit. And I would’ve deserved it.

The Photo Album Thing

I had a conversation with a fellow blogger who asked me if I used the photo album portion of my website. Well, I don’t have a digital camera and I just think that having pictures of me in middle school on the site is weird. So, I probably will never update it. I know this is something that has been keeping you up at night so I figured I’d end the suspense.

A Great Article

My friend, Paul, wrote a great article about semiotics for The Boston Globe. The dictionary's definition of semiotics is: "a general philosophical theory of signs and symbols that deals especially with their function in both artificially constructed and natural languages and comprises syntactics, semantics, and pragmatics" Um ... okay. If you're like me, you have no real clue what that means and will be impressed by the number of cool people who were semiotics majors. I can't think of Wesleyan's (my alma mater) equivalent. People are just regular old film and English majors in Middletown, Connecticut.

What Is She Slipping Them!!!!

Jennifer Lopez is (RUMORED) to be getting engaged to Marc Anthony. I know. I know. This is trashy gossip that I should not bother myself with, especially due to the state of the world today but I can't help myself. Here's a little blurb from your friends at Yahoo: "She is wearing a huge diamond ring on the middle finger of her left hand. It is a diamond band with a huge square clear diamond in the middle and the square diamond is surrounded by more tiny diamonds. It is an engagement ring." I don't care whether she's engaged or not. I'm more curious about what kind of mojo she has to get men battling over who can buy her the larger ring! It's kind of insane.

What's The Big Deal About Caffeine?

I saw Coffee and Cigarettes last night. The final and ironic blow in the ongoing caffeine debate that is occurring amongst my friends and within myself. I guess it’s not a debate when I know it’s bad for me. Still, the debate DOES exist whether or not the bad effects of caffeine is a calculated risk that I am willing to take.

Lately, I’ve been a bit tired. Just having a hard time feeling really awake. Usually I wake up at about 7. Write on my blog. Take a walk. Have some cereal. Now I’m just waking up and going to work and am barely writing on my blog the way I used to.

There are many possible causes: not enough exercise, not enough sleep, not enough iron (my usual issue). Still, when I was talking to a nutritionist friend about it, she suggested something truly horrifying: “Maybe you should cut out coffee. I think it’s making you psychotic and worse, tired. “ I don’t smoke. Drink a little. And despite my Rubenesque figure am actually a healthy eater. So how bad is the coffee thing for me really.

The flick added to the ongoing debate. I don’t think all of the shorts are great but the ones that are are fantastic. Cate Blanchett was my friend, Seke’s fav but mine was the Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan (my new favorite actor after my recent viewing of 24 Hour Party People) vignette that was hilarious. I think I was drawn to the vignettes that didn’t directly talk about caffeine. Maybe it’s just me though.

P.S. I wrote this lovely entry over a nice hot cup of coffee. Large.
P.P.S. When spell checking this entry, the only word I spelled incorrectly was caffeine. Hmm ...