How To Get Stupid White Men Out Of Office

Ever since fifth grade, electoral politics has made me nervous. See, no one wanted to be Class President and some wise guy (or gal) said, “Angela will do it.” I was a geek if you couldn’t tell and even though I was bigger than everyone in my class, I still had a little issue with standing up for myself, especially in front of authority figures. Anyway, I ended up being President for two years and I would have to go to these lame meetings where we talked about putting an end to litter in the hallways and getting the lunch staff to stop serving peanut butter for lunch.

I wasn’t cool like The Monitors. Mustafa, the South Asian boy that was hot before South Asian boys were in vogue, was the head monitor and he got to “oversee” the kids running in the yard and in the hall. If you got caught running or causing a ruckus, Mustafa was there to kick your ass. He didn’t play by the rules and could be persuaded with some food or a copy of Forever, the dirty sex book that almost got me suspended (but that’s another entry). Mustafa got to beat kids up and wear a fancy star like Josh Brolin on The Young Riders. Monitors had all the power. Me, I was just a figurehead.

Since I work in a socially conscious office, many freebees come my way. The latest is the book, How To Get Stupid White Men Out of Office. It really didn’t seem like my bag. The font was too small and many of the writers use all of this “youth slang” even though you know they’re not that young. Still, I was so moved by the power of the human will. Many of the people in these pages saw problems in their communities and didn’t just sit around and talk about what a pain in the ass not being able to vote because you live miles and miles away from a voting machine and don’t have a car and committed some petty crime and now were not considered a citizen of the lovely US of A, they did something about it. The moral of the story here is that you don’t have to be the person in office to make a difference. You can find the right person for you and fight like hell to get them elected. Because I don’t want to go to bed thinking my vote counted and wake up realizing it doesn’t.

So be like me. Buy this book (or find someone cool to lend it to you). Register to vote (especially if you live in swing states like: ME ** NH ** PA ** OH ** IL ** MI ** MN ** WI ** WV ** MO ** AR ** IA ** TN ** GA ** LA ** NC ** SC ** FL ** NM ** AZ ** NV ** CO **). And find someone to get behind. Because lord knows I don’t want to be President.