I have had many a coffee, dinner, innocent phone conversation about when I am going to get off my rump and get started on making my own films. I do have a plan but I have to admit that all of the innocent inquiries are making me kind of take pause. I have been having a really, really hard time doing another draft of my short. It is at that close but no cigar stage. I feel as if I was in another brain when I started it and now can't get back to that place. Can't get to a new place.
My advisor/life mentor, Tom Kalin, is making a new flick with Julianne Moore. He hasn't made a film in 12 years and it's a big deal for him. Right before he left for eight months of production and editing in London, I came by his house for some coffee and cigarettes (his of course). There, we talked a bit about my future, what I think I got out of film school, when am I going to shoot Divine (my short that isn't quite right). He was excited for me about Deadline doing so well. No one can deny that Deadline being at Sundance and having such a large broadcast is great for me but Tom being Tom had to be real with me. "Honey, I know all that you've contributed to this project but in the end, you're an Associate Producer. Not the Producer and not the Director. Take what you can from this but move on and forward. There is a great film in you and you just haven't made it yet."
My last film, Conversations with Id, was OK but in the words of Tom, "It didn't set the world on fire." Even I have to agree. Still I learned a lot. I am feeling kind of drained right now. Deadline's promotion/outreach is really draining. Important but draining and when I get home, I barely have enough energy to put dinner in the microwave.
I don't have any real answers other that trying to take it all one step at a time. Still, this strange thing happened just now. I've been searching for this woman forever to interview for my documentary but had no idea how to get in touch with her. Then, she was featured in The New York Times' Habitat's section. I feel like this is some kind of divine intervention to get going on some of my personal projects.
The photo above is of Sheryl Oring's exhibit. Learn more about her incredible work here
Comments