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......Goodbye

......Goodbye
Originally uploaded by south of the metro

“For me, this New Year is about saying goodbye, just as much as it is to saying hello. I want to let go of certain beliefs about myself, my story, my life and welcome in new ones. I want to let go. I want to stop looking back and admiring what was, and to start looking to what is, what can be, and what will be.”

-From a fave new blog, Just A Titch

I don’t expect a lot to happen in a year honestly. Maybe it’s because I make documentaries but I know that 12 months isn’t as much time as one thinks. Anything worth doing takes time. A lot of it.

This above quote resonated with me in regards to my thoughts on the passage of this decade. I had many beliefs about the life I was going to have before by my 34th year. Of course I never took into consideration the fact that I can't control what obstacles/opportunities would come my way. I just thought I would be living in my Fort Greene brownstone with Maxwell. Oh well. You can't have everything.

So this New Year's Eve, I am saying goodbye to timelines, to underestimating myself, to grudges, to being a little girl. I am saying hello to success, to making myself responsible for my happiness, to going after who and what I want, to loving friends and family more fully, to being a grown ass woman.

What are you saying goodbye to?

2009 Travels and Beyond

At the end of every year I make a list of the places I went. I do this to remind myself of how blessed I am to travel. I also do it to push myself to travel more! I have kept my goal of leaving the country once a year for the past six years. However, I do want to go further, to places that are more out of my comfort zone. I want to travel to more places on my own, instead of relying on work. I want to travel enough so that when I am at the yoga studio I volunteer at, I don't feel jealous every time some classmate tells me about their three weeks in some exotic land. (That might be impossible.)

Here are the places I went in 2009 (*places are places I went to more than once):

Vancouver, Canada 

Seattle, Washington 

Austin, Texas 

San Francisco, CA 

Union City, New Jersey* 

Hoboken, New Jersey* 

Playa del Carmen, Mexico 

Boston, Massachusetts* 

Washington D.C.* 

Arlington, Virginia 

Los Angeles, California

I also wanted to do at least one exercise on Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. Day One's challenge was your Best Trip of 2009. This is a hard one. There is a tie because the trips were great for different reasons. 

Mexico was amazing because I had to stay off of the internet and just relax. I did not think I was someone who struggled with that but by the end, I was dying to check my email. Lauren did all of the planning and because she is meticulous, I knew it would all work out. And it did! Playa del Carmen is really beautiful but that does without saying. There will be more Mexico in my future.

I went to SXSW, an interactive festival based in Austin, years ago because a film I worked on premiered there. That trip was well ... kind of miserable for a variety of complex reasons. It tainted my feeling on SXSW and Austin in general. We knew we needed to do some more filming in Austin so Beth, Jolene and I decided to make it into a mini vacation (since we were going to have to come out of pocket a bit ourselves). This was the trip I decided to reclaim Austin and the fun festival that I knew SXSW could be. During the five days in Austin, I had so many moments of kindness from people from my friend getting us tickets to the secret Kanye West concert to the great couple who let us stay in their gorgeous house for free. I had made a resolution for 2009 to see more live music and I saw tons during SXSW. I am officially hooked. 

To get myself inspired, below are some places that I want to go to someday. Here's hoping for 2010:

Italy (Venice, Florence, Rome)

Scotland

Costa Rica

The French Riviera

New Zealand

Senegal, Benin, Ivory Coast, Egypt (So many places in Africa)

Thailand

Brazil (Really, most places in South America.)

Barcelona, Spain

Iceland

Top 25 Films of the New Millenium

This list is in the order they popped into my head. Looking at it now, I do think they are in their true order. The films go from the expected -- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which has topped many people's lists. -- to the unexpected -- Wedding Crashers is genius! I learned a lot about myself making this list. I could tell you what I learned but after you watch these trailers, you'll probably have your own theories:

1. Half Nelson This film is a masterpiece. I have seen it many times and I still am in awe of Fleck’s ability to make a story like this feel fresh and new. Making this film was an absolute act of bravery. The scene below is one of my favorites of all time.

2. Brokeback Mountain Another masterpiece. This film shows you that the act of loving someone, though sometimes difficult and often times painful, is an act of courage. RIP Heath Ledger.

3. Ballast This film is so subtle and beautiful. It is a “real” film about pain and loneliness, not one of the Hollywood kind. (This description makes the film feel like a big downer. Ok, it is but it's still great.)

4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Michel Gondry, Charlie Kauffman, Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey are all geniuses. Period.

5. Keane This is a small, small film that is beautifully shot and really gets into a troubled protagonist’s head. Though the NBC series, Life, was great, here’s hoping that Damian Lewis gets another shot at fame

6. The 25th Hour Movies like this remind me that I am a tried and true New Yorker. Spike Lee irritates me but he is one of the few filmmakers that loves New York to the bone. Though this film has problems – what is up with the random tangential sequences – I was extremely creatively inspired by it.

7. The Departed Another imperfect movie but it is so entertaining and well acted. I’ve easily watched it 10-15 times since I saw it in the movie theater. I may never love Leonardo DiCaprio like this again.

8. Superbad Yes, this film is hysterical. I love it because it truthfully and earnestly depicts the power of a good friendship on the verge of change. Watch the end for Jonah Hill’s look to Michael Cera. It's unexpectedly moving.

9. Y Tu Mama Tambien Another homoerotic movie, yes, I’ll admit it. I love them! What impresses me about this film is how it mixes so many themes and never feels disjointed.

10. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters This movie made me see that making a film about a subject matter that people think is frivolous and crazy can still elicit a great, great film. I guess it was extremely inspirational.

11. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party I was bummed to miss this concert but this documentary made me feel like I was there. It contains some of my favorite musicians at their peak as well as one of my favorite comedians, Dave Chappelle. I know I’ll continue to watch it again and again.

12. Lost in Translation This film is so well directed. Bill Murray mixes sadness and humor effortlessly. Scarlett does her Scarlett thing but it's still a great film.

13. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days This Romanian film really shook me. Truly.

14. Amelie I was surprised when I learned this film came out in the 2000s. I’ve loved it so long. It is simply magical.

15. Capturing the Friedmans This was one of the first documentaries that made me realize the true ability this genre has to create huge, Shakespearean drama.

16. Before Sunset Ethan Hawke and Julie Delphy have such effortless chemistry. I loved walking through Paris with them.

17. Examined Life This documentary is one of the more recent films on my list. I’ve always been intimidated/bored by philosophy but this film is an intellectual exercise in the best kind of way. I can’t wait to buy it on DVD in February.

18. Trouble the Water A life affirming film about Katrina. Yes, it is possible.

19. The Notebook Yes, this choice is based on my crush on Rachel MacAdams and Ryan Gosling (who both appear twice on this list -- I'm so silly). Still, a beautiful, epic love story is hard to come by and this one delivers.

20. Forever I discovered Heddy Honigmann this decade and fell in love. A poem about death and love. Beautiful!

21. You Can Count On Me A young Mark Ruffalo (before he became famous) and a flawless script by Kenneth Lonergan. This film is a truthful and beautiful portrait of a bond between a brother and a sister. It hits close to home.

22. Wedding Crashers This movie is on TBS all the time and I can never turn it off. It takes the potty mouthed adult movie to a whole new level. Love it. 23. Murderball Who would've thought that a documentary about a team of paraplegic athletes would be so fun and badass? Loved it. 24. Movern Callar This movie made me fall in love with Samantha Morton. Such a strange, beautiful, brilliant little film. Why don't I own it?

25. The Diving Bell and The Butterfly This film is extremely sad and absolutely hypnotic. One of the few instances where the movie is as good, if not better than, the book.