Two Hmms ...

After hearing Rebecca Walker on NPR, I wanted to say a little something. There was a controversy about her statement in her new book, Baby Love. I do not own the book so I cannot quote it directly. Basically she says that though she would do anything within reason for her adopted child (that she co-parents – a new term that sounds a little cold if you ask me – with Meshell Ndegeocello!!!), she would do absolutely anything for her biological child. (This is a pretty accurate paraphrase.) Though it seems like semantics, Walker does admit, in interviews, that what she is getting at is the fact that the love she feels for her biological child is a greater love than the love she feels for her adopted child.

The thing I have always liked about Rebecca Walker is that she does not back peddle. If she says something, she says it even if it is not popular or mainstream. She is her mother's daughter whether she sees it or likes it.

That said … WHAT?!?!?!

I find this a strange comment, an alienating comment, especially to her adopted child. This is on my mind, mainly because I just read Black, White and Jewish and was impressed by how well written and engaging it was. Memoirs are such strange things because you feel like you spent some quality time with a person when, well, you didn’t.

As I read reviews about Walker’s new book, Baby Love, I just wanted to sit her down and say, “Why would you make a comment like this when you were raised in an environment of such separation and alienation?” It seems like Walker is just perpetuating this. How is her adopted son going to feel when he is old enough to read this? She says she will explain it to him but what will she say?

My other moment was reading a review of Leonard Nimoy’s photography exhibit and upcoming book, The Full Body Project. It features several full figured women naked and proud. I knew Nimoy was a photographer but I had no idea how good he was.

I was excited by the article’s existence and it’s ability to shed light on these amazing photographs – right until the end.

And what of his own attitude toward fat women? “I do think they’re beautiful,” he said. “They’re full-bodied, full-blooded human beings.” He doesn’t necessarily find them sexually attractive. “But I do think they’re beautiful.”

I was irked by this comment and after a week of thinking about it, I figured out why. When are we as a society going to stop fetishizing plus sized women and treat them (us – I know there is a part of me that is feeling this personally whether that is legitimate or not) like real, live, breathing, sexy women? It just irks me. Honestly, I am not sure that was the subtext under Nimoy's comment but that is what I heard when I read it.

Addendum: L. Britt, I had an answer for your question and then I saw a strand of comments on Big Fat Blog and have changed my tune a bit about the whole thing. I will explain where I was and where I am at.

I was not suggesting that Nimoy has a fetish. I actually felt as if the writer asking the question about whether or not he found them sexually attractive was her way of implying that he had to have some strange fetish in order to want to take these pictures. Many other people felt this same way and talked about it. The writer of the article saw this and responded and now I understand a bit better what she meant. The web amazes me sometimes. Instant gratification!

Comments

[L. Britt]

Tuckergurl, I have a question...what do you mean by society "fetishizing" plus-sized women? I'm confused by your use of the word "fetish" since Nimoy says he's doesn't see them as attractive.

Are you frustrated with the idea that society puts proud, plus-sized women on some sort of pedestal because they are both proud and plus-sized (as if never the twain can meet)?

[Beebs]

Walker sort of seems like Ayelet Widman a little in this need to say insensitive things in order to quantify love between family members- why even compare the two when one can't even love two biological kids in the same way?

As per Nimoy- I just looked up his pics at this gallery:

http://www.bonnibenrubi.com/index3.html

it was really cool!

[summer]

I find Walker's comment to be irresponsible and terribly unloving. Even if she thinks it, the possible future damage to her adopted son and his relationships far outweighs her need to say it!