White People ... Why?

I have to ask a question. Something I have been wondering about for most of my life.

It is cold here in New York. Yes, it is warmer than it has been (or so I've heard) but it is still cold. Cold I say. I know the sun is shining and this might be misleading but make no mistake. It is cold. And being New York, it will not be warm until late April, early May. Maybe. (As we all know, global warming changes everything.)

So, why, oh why, white people are you wearing sandals? Why are you wearing shorts?

Don't get me wrong. I like white people. Some of my best friends are white. But I just do not understand you. And I am not alone. I can speak for a large portion of the African-American community ( and probably most people of color but I will not speak for them) when I say that at times like these, we are laughing at you. Laughing at you.

White people, I am going to let you in on a secret. You know how sometimes a black person looks at you and then shakes their head. Or when you see two black people look at you and then look at each other trying not to laugh. Well, that has to do with your crazy choice to wear no jacket in 30 degree weather or open toed sandles or shorts! Black folk do not even have to exchange words about this. All we do is look at each other and shake our heads. This is code for: "White people. Who understands them."

Don't you feel cold? Don't you get sick? Can't you just wait until it is legitimately warm before you pull out the summer clothing? Or better yet, just go somewhere warm for a weekend and get all of this out of your system. Help me understand. Help us understand.

Thank you. I am done.

Comments

[Maggie]

If you think it's bad in New York, you must visit the campus of Carleton College in Northfield, MINNESOTA. That is some serious winter and a handful of crazies would spend the entire winter in shorts and rope sandals (the rope added a nice touch). One of these cold enthusiasts then started an event called the Nude Winter Olympics, which involved traying (a form of sledding), skiing, and playing broomball IN THE NUDE! and yes, all of these lost souls were indeed white.

[L. Britt]

I can't believe you wrote this, tuckergurl. I just can't believe it! I'm dying with laughter right now. I can't wait to see what the reaction to this will be. I have no words...

[summer]

back in high school, early 90's, i first became aware of this phenomenon. So I made up a little game in my head. (yes, i'm touched.) Anyhoo, I bet myself that everyday of the year, no matter the temperature, you could find at least one white person wearing shorts. i never lost the bet.

[tricia wang]

hey I totally know what you r talking about! on my website/flick I document white people wearing sandals and shorts in 30degrees!
I am so happy you wrote this cuz people think I am crazy when I say it's always white people titicacas who don't know how to dress appropriately!
www.triciawang.blogspot.com
www.flickr.com/photos/triciawang

[Bright-Eyes]

Yep.

Also, in undergrad here in nyc we would bet on which day of the year would bring the first white girl in a bikini sunbathing on the lawn. Don't get me wrong, when it's hot I go out the the meadow in Central Park too, though not in a bikini...but key words.. "when it's warm"

[Beebs]

As the representative for all white people- ehem. Perhaps I can clear up some of this enigma my dear sweet browner friends.
1. It's not all white people- its probably those of a colder country descent. They are the ones with the especially pale skin, usually they are good drinkers. They have that winter flush about their cheeks. (They end up living in the midwest. Then their children come here to forge their futures- those people live in the uppereast side- but hey they travel. It's really all of Scandinavia, Eastern Europe, Canada, etc... However its sort of like prime numbers people (are you with people? Do you follow?) All cold friendly freaks are white- but not all white people are cold friendly. Similarly- All cold freaks are from northern- colder climates somewhere in their ancestry- but not all people who have this in their backround are cold friendly. My dad hates the cold- he's Polish/Russian/Ukrainian- he wears Jackets in the summer. So do many of my relatives.

2.WE ARE PASTEY BY MARCH!!!!! We want some color- I can see through my skin right now! No really- I am like that dude on PBS when we were little. Often I find myself not wearing a warm enough outfit- but I feel it and I mourn it.

3. Denial- see all other annotations regarding white people in history in general.
-and-
Denial- you don't notice when black people are wearing sandels in the cold.

4. Your people often have low blood pressure- thats directly linked to body temperature.

[tuckergurl]

I knew that many other people were thinking about this. Thanks for the responses.

Summer, that made me laugh.

Beebs, I knew you would make some compelling arguments on this one and I hear ya. Of course I do not mean all white folks but there are enough who engage in this activity that it is a sort of phenomenon.

[beebs]

Oh it was not an argument- more of a humorous rant to add to the spice. =)

[Ari Moore]

I'm part Scandanavian, so maybe that's why I sometimes second-guess the thermostat -- but I think it's more because I want summer to come and I like my lighter jackets and scarves and things better than my heavy winter stuff. Great post. :)

[lia]

My favorite example of this happened last year, when I saw a big white guy wearing shorts and a hoodie in Central Park to see the Gates when there was snow on the ground and the temperature 30s. WHY?

[corrine]

It's bleedin' cold this part of ohio (in yellow springs) and women are wearing flip flops? No, I don't get it either!

By the way enjoying your blog.

[Melissa]

It's 4/5. I kid you not - I saw a black dude wearing shorts today... during that crazy snow we had! And no, he wasn't just really tan. I couldn't wait to get home and tell you. I was shocked. He's one of the wackos. See? Wacko knows no color.

[me]

bullshit you speak for the majority of black people!